I catastrophize so much that I sometimes entertain drastic ideas, long after those thoughts have overstayed their welcome.
But I eventually send the catastrophic thoughts on their unmerry way so I can keep going. If I were to give up in a rashly permanent way, there would be a zero percent chance of finishing my next book, which is important to me. So every time I’m confronted with a brain attack I reach into my bag of psychological tools and use the most effective one at the moment it’s needed (Tools listed below)
Over time I’ve become more skilled and efficient at the dismissing drastic thoughts, so that now I’m rarely confronted with it.
Tim Ferriss’ post on this matter helped immensely in expanding my own core foundation of basic sanity pillars. Don’t let the title fool you; this is Tim’s blog on staying alive. This page actually has a 12 step suicide prevention guide, or “daily coping mechanisms”.
I’ve added my own emergency tools to prevent suicide. Disclaimer, I am NOT a medical nor psychological professional. If needed, please see a professional if you are not already seeing one.
1-Alphabetize, or put literally anything else in linear order, like books I have sitting around on a shelf.
This gets the brain out of panic mode into thinking more logically. Whatever may be driving me over the edge at the moment, it’s not worth my life. When something that seems out of my control threatens to make me give up everything, I’ve got to get logical and reprioritize to remind myself that I can actually change something.
2-Wait. Tomorrow may be better. You may feel better later today or next year. And it’s okay, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now; you’ll get through this. You’ve gotten through everything else up until this point, so this event is just next in line before the one after it, even it is excruciatingly painful. (For developing a new outlook on general life pain, may I recommend “The Subtle Art of Not Giving A Fuck” if you don’t mind the F-word. The F-word and I are good friends.)
3-Call a friend; someone who is willing to have me over when I don’t feel safe alone. I rotate between friends during these emergencies so none of them feel burnt out from me asking for help.
4-If I’m too embarrassed (or busy) to ask for help, I make a list of everyone who matters to me. It can be anyone who has helped me in any way at all over my lifetime, directly or indirectly; intentionally or unintentionally. I cannot disregard my life without also disregarding everyone who has put any effort into me at any given time.
* Sometimes I seek encouragement from “virtual friends” anywhere I can get it. I listen to videos like this from Oprah and other life transformers! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RWC54NLngGk&t=646s
5-Take a step; do anything. Changing something can be an immediate mood booster.
If it is difficult to do anything, choose just one thing; and reevaluate your perspective. Here’s how;
6-Some tips on overcoming the 10 most common obstacles:
- Facing the Unknown—it just feels uncomfortable now, because you’ve never gotten this far before.
- The Need for Instant Gratification—get that instant gratification AND set a timer or find an alternative way to set a boundary for yourself, so that when you need that instant fix, it doesn’t turn into years of filling your free time with it. Instead give yourself a little goal of something to accomplish—whether it be a few minutes of writing a day or whatever your goal may be…
- Misinformation and Getting the Wrong Advice—whatever it is you want to do, stop telling yourself no, and start telling yourself yes.
- Pressure to Conform—yes, you’re human. No, you’re not identical in every way to single other soul on the planet, so do it your way.
- Overthinking your Goal—Make a baby goal and start today. Then do it again tomorrow; and the day after that and so on, until you get there, even if it takes a decade or a lifetime. You’ll never get there if you don’t start, and take another step, and another…
- Limited Finances—If you can’t do everything now, do something. There are lots of ways to start (or start learning about how to start) for free now!
- Questioning your Abilities—if you want to, you can start at the level you are at now. Every move forward increases your abilities. Sitting around saying you suck, will just get you better at believing that you can’t. Start telling yourself; Yes! You can! Then every day you’ll get better at it!
- Being Indecisive—this may be the biggest obstacle, or maybe the smallest, or maybe somewhere in between. I don’t know. Maybe it’s not even an obstacle. I’ll just keep thinking about it until I’ve used all my free time, and then I won’t have to do anything because I won’t have made a decision about how to move forward. But would that be the right move? I don’t know. And I don’t have to be accountable for anything I haven’t decided to do, so I just won’t decide.
“Failure is how you become who you’re meant to be” -Rachel Hollis
If you have felt punished for taking a step in the past, like I feel, this may just be life’s natural way of seeing how badly you really want something. Try taking another step in that direction. Or try something new.
The point is to keep trying. If you ask yourself the point, like I often do, try to remember that; keep trying. Keep getting up each day, do all you can that day, celebrate what you can do, and keep going again every tomorrow.
You are doing more than you realize just by existing, so keep it up.
Here are the 12 daily coping tips from Tem Ferriss’ blog:
“Here are some of my coping mechanisms for making it through the day:
1) Wake up at least 1 hour before you have to be at a computer screen. E-mail is the mind killer.
2) Make a cup of tea (I like pu-erh like this) and sit down with a pen/pencil and paper.
3) Write down the 3-5 things — and no more — that are making you most anxious or uncomfortable. They’re often things that have been punted from one day’s to-do list to the next, to the next, to the next, and so on. Most important usually = most uncomfortable, with some chance of rejection or conflict.
4) For each item, ask yourself:
– “If this were the only thing I accomplished today, would I be satisfied with my day?”
– “Will moving this forward make all the other to-do’s unimportant or easier to knock off later?”
5) Look only at the items you’ve answered “yes” to for at least one of these questions.
6) Block out at 2-3 hours to focus on ONE of them for today. Let the rest of the urgent but less important stuff slide. It will still be there tomorrow.
7) TO BE CLEAR: Block out at 2-3 HOURS to focus on ONE of them for today. This is ONE BLOCK OF TIME. Cobbling together 10 minutes here and there to add up to 120 minutes does not work.
8) If you get distracted or start procrastinating, don’t freak out and downward spiral; just gently come back to your ONE to-do.
9) Physically MOVE for at least 20 minutes each day. Go for a long walk, lift weights, take a free online yoga class (YouTube), anything. Ideally, get outside. I was once asked by friend for advice on overcoming debilitating stress. The answer I repeated over and over again was: “Remember to EXERCISE daily. That is 80% of the battle.”
10) Follow a diet that prevents wild blood sugar swings. This means avoiding grains and refined carbohydrates most of the time. I follow the slow-carb diet with one cheat day per week and have done so for 10+ years. Paleo also works great. Don’t forget to eat plenty of fat. High protein and low fat can give you low-grade symptoms of rabbit starvation.
11) Schedule at least one group dinner with friends per week. Get it on the calendar no later than 5pm on Monday. Ideal to have at least three people, but two is still great medicine.
12) Take a minute each day to call or email someone to express gratitude of some type. Consider someone you haven’t spoken with in a long time. It can be a one-line text or a 5-second voicemail.”
Thank you, Tim Ferriss! These tips have helped to save my life!
Universe Rules 