Note to Self from a recent epiphany:
You like your pain, and you don’t even realize it. You’re wondering why you keep trying when you see virtually no results. It’s because you’re comfortable with the pain you have now, and secretly—so secret you don’t see it with your conscious eyes—you are unwilling to trade your current pain for the unknown pain of future success.
And since you don’t see the reason for the self-sabotage, you blame everyone and everything around you as the reason you haven’t “made it” yet. And when you question yourself and what you’re doing wrong; it appears you’ve been doing everything you can, and you don’t understand how you could try harder.
You’ve given the old college try in various careers. You’ve pushed through illnesses, injuries and surgeries. You’re humiliated, living off government aid. You wonder how with your degree you haven’t managed a career you can balance with your family situation. You’ve attended career fairs, amped up your resume, taken more classes; set up pitch meetings. Stayed up late nights or all night and worked weekends for years until your body starts shutting down because you’ve been pushing so hard.
And now you’re depressed; losing more and more energy over time as you sit at your desk to tackle your goals; losing motivation and feeling insane as you keep working on the same thing without a payoff, and you wish for some direction, some confirmation your work will eventually come to fruition.
What are you avoiding? New pain. The pain you have now is an excruciating mind f*ck, but at least you’ve lived with it long enough you know how it plays out. It’s comfortable in its own sick, masochistic, way—tormenting you to sleep after another unrequited day, and startling you awake after another anxious sleep with fear-filled nightmares.
Luckily there’s a way out of this sadistic satiation—or so it seems after reading a few transformational books with unconventional methods: Run at the new pain! Seek it; prepare for it. What pain comes with the success you want?
Are you ready for it? Have you chosen the purpose attached that will get you through it day in and day out? You’ve fulfilled your purpose in your current situation. It’s time to step it up. Upgrade your problems; upgrade your pain.
#Canthurtme
For the brutal push forward you may need:
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/41721428-can-t-hurt-me
For motivation from a cynical perspective:
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/28257707-the-subtle-art-of-not-giving-a-f-ck
For beginning business strategies:
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/40591267-girl-stop-apologizing
For getting through a well-earned breakdown:
https://nicolelapin.com/becomingsuperwoman/
All these books have helped me to go further on my journey. I hope they help you, too! I’m sending you my best wishes as you push ahead in your daily grind! What does your pain look like? Feel free to share!
#UniverseRules
Universe Rules 