The brain is not designed to default towards happiness. Comfort is not conducive to survival. Continually looking for problems to solve is great when it comes to survival. You have to know what problems confront you, and solve them to survive.
This perpetual focus on problems, however, can lead to a long-term negative state of mind which is also dangerous. In the pursuit of a healthier and more satisfying balance, you can redirect your brain to focus on strategies for solutions to the problems. (Here is a talk by the maker of the documentary, Happy, by Roko Belic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sM_xtk8aqh0)
Knowing or believing there is a solution tends to help you feel more relaxed. It’s in your best interest to learn methods for achieving the results you want, rather than only on parameters of the problems. A calm mind will find solutions a lot faster than a panicked mind. (This idea is explored further in the book, Nerve, by Taylor Clark: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/9968232-nerve )
My first installment in a 7-step happiness journey, that I posted about a few years ago, asserted that taking responsibility is the first step to happiness. But that perspective hasn’t recently been as helpful to me as I’d initially found it.
Although it is wonderful to find power in your contributions to your problems, after a while of living in long term effects of it, that self-blame can be an overwhelming burden that can also keep you feeling trapped.
Let’s say for argument’s sake that you can lighten that burden; that at least part of the problem is not your fault; that outside forces created this problem in your life. Great. The responsibility is a load off your back. Now you’re just dealing with the effects. It doesn’t have to be your “fault” that your life went this way or that. But you can fix it. You have resources; you can figure out a way to improve your situation.
Do some research. Go to the information desk at a bookstore; use an internet search engine; talk to people who’ve been through something similar. Anyone with a little more life experience—i.e. older (there’s a reason to respect your elders) —can offer some helpful wisdom and suggestions for getting through the tough stuff of life.
When you’ve learned various options or strategies for addressing your particular problem, or set of problems, then pick a direction and pursue it without deviating. Step back after some time, re-evaluate, rinse and repeat until you discover the set of strategies that best mold your perspective to create the life you want to live.
If a situation persists for an extended period of time, then learn something about the kind of attributes it takes to thrive in those circumstances. Developing those characteristics will make your life much easier. Grow to master your personalized challenges.
“You solve one problem, and then you solve the next problem, and the next; and if you solve enough problems you get to go home.” –Mark Watney https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18007564-the-martian
Universe Rules 