(From “Happy Tips” Chapter 31)
It took me many years to turn my life around. I’d read books and listened to life coaches who told me that it could happen instantly. So I tried, and I’d truly believed the changes I sought could happen that fast. When they didn’t, the defeat I felt was beyond intense.
Now:
This is what my life is like today; I finally heard positive feedback from my doctor about my mental health. She said; “You’re healing!” It had been two years since my last prescription refill to address anxiety and panic. I described to her how I’ve grown in my life. I’ve sufficiently healed and developed attributes, etc. needed to attract this life. If my life were to change again, I would pursue the same paths that brought me here;
I live in a beautiful three story house with rooms that look like pictures I drew of my dream home years ago. My children have more stability and support than I had as a child. We are experiencing a new level of financial freedom–pretty much debt free. My life partner is extremely supportive, and a fantastic provider who encourages me to follow my dreams, whatever that looks like; we can try to have a baby if we want, or wait. I can work, or not work; whichever I prefer.
He’s offered to support my writing career full time. It’s wonderful and feels miraculous to have found my perfect match, and for him to be willing to support me and the children so fully. Even so I am making my way at a job, knowing that I could change that at any time. So far I’ve been progressing at my work; The director of employee development just offered me a higher position of my choice; wherever I feel I would fit best in the company, even if that means creating a new position.
For so many years I imagined the world was full of possibilities and opportunities, and now I have more tangible evidence than ever that that’s the world I’m living in, that I created for myself and co-created with my community.
Then:
What my life looked like up to just a couple years ago;
Our apartment was a disaster with messy toileting accidents on the carpet; along with food regularly strewn across the floors throughout the apartment. Each of our needs (mine and the kids) were often neglected while in my home, though they had a lot of support from their father. We all dealt with physical aggression in the home. My bank account overdrafted every month, and I was unable to get any kind of loan.
I’d gone through a series of unhealthy relationships, with no hope that that pattern would change, so I’d committed to being single possibly for the remainder of my life (which was progress then for the phase right before that). I had been out of paid work for years while I worked unpaid as a fulltime caregiver, advocating with the state school system to pave the way to access services for my son that were not available in public schools in our state at the time. I had periodic panic attacks under the weight of it all.
The whole experience for so long was complexly painful; there are even deeper layers that amplified challenges.
The Impetus for Change:
I realized that if it was true that I had created my life, then it was pertinent for me to focus on thoughts about the future I wanted to create, rather than wallowing in the difficulties of what life had become at that present time.
With the belief that I could influence reality, I persistently focused on what was good about my life until that focus became genuine joy. I got to the point where I was so protective of my life with my kids (which we started calling Unicorn Land) that my requirements became very selective for who I would allow into that life.
There are enough people throughout the world who’ve been successful in shifting their experiences like this, that it demonstrates the potential for shifting is not simply anecdotal. A shift this big can happen for anyone who is willing to put in the consistent effort every day for years until you see results.
Seeing an “instant win” as the only way out is a faulty mindset. Small changes each day lead to big changes in the long run. So some people might scoff at the idea that small moves each day can lead to the result they want, but just remember the story of the tortoise and the hare. Slow and steady wins your race.
Depending on what kind of net cycle you’ve been living, it may take a while for you to harness the power of consciously creating what you want, and that’s okay. With practice, you’ll see which efforts work for you to bring about changes.
If you already believe that when you work for what you want, you’ll receive it, you are on the right track. I was stuck in a pattern of believing that anything I desired would get taken away, that nothing I did was good enough. I had to break that, and many other faulty beliefs. It’s worth the effort to create new beliefs to support you on your way.
Learning to manifest consciously in your life can feel truly magical.
Start small. Think of something you want. Be honest with yourself. Obtaining your desired item has to be believable, and something you really want. Maybe it’s as simple as a quarter–but only if you really want a quarter. You can brainstorm to find an idea that you want to try to create.
If you really want it to work fast, find or draw a picture of what you want, something that is believable to come into your life within a week’s time. Think about it and allow yourself to feel as if you’ve already received it. How will you feel then? That’s the whole point, isn’t it? To feel good?
So you have nothing to lose. Even if the desire were to never manifest, you will have been allowing yourself to feel good as you’ve thought about it. Isn’t that instant seratonin boost worth a portion of your intentional efforts?
If you think about it long enough, all the while allowing yourself to feel good about it, your desire will manifest. It may not always be the way you expect. When you receive the gift of your desires with gratitude, that’s your manifesting power growing.
For more evidence that manifestation is real, pay attention to the kinds of things you say repeatedly. Are the things you say the reality you live? Do you like that reality?
If not, try changing what you repeat to yourself and your friends, and see what happens. Describe your life the way you’d prefer it to be, rather than the aspects you don’t like that keep recurring. Do this constantly until you see something change. That’s all the evidence you need. Use this evidence to fuel your forward motion and expand what you are consciously manifesting.
Many of us have been detached from a sense of control over our lives. We perhaps haven’t been trusting ourselves, so we want something to happen for us, rather than from our choices. We want it to happen on its own, as if we are afraid of our own power.
If that is the case for you, try thinking of it like this; when you exercise control in your life you are not controlling people and things. Instead by imagining what you want, you are sending out an invitation that they can choose whether to accept.
But if you relinquish your influence over your circumstances, that is the life you will see; one that feels out of control. And then it can be discouraging to believe you have any control at all. If it doesn’t work at first, it may seem easier to stop trying.
Expect that there may be a time delay, and that’s okay. The bigger the difference between your goal and where you are now, the bigger the time delay to reach it. Something grand like a change of jobs or location could take months or years to manifest, especially if you are fairly new to manifesting. The more you practice, the easier and faster you’ll see results.
It’s like a muscle. It takes time, effort and nourishment to strengthen.
Imagine, as you dedicate your mind and feelings to your hopes, that you are planting a seed, nourishing it, and waiting to see it sprout. In the beginning the results are not always visible, but you may get ideas for how to help it grow with metaphorical sunlight and rain.
Your patience will serve you well when the results are still hiding under the surface, sometimes for many years. Keep nourishing that seed with your good feelings and your vision of your future plans for that figurative farm that you’re growing from whatever fertilizer life has given you. I’d say lemons to lemonade, but let’s think bigger!
Happy Tip #31
Keep Your Perspective Positive During Time Delay to Reach Results:
When shifting your life, it may feel like an emotional earthquake for awhile.
Find anchors for what you are choosing to create beyond where you are now:
How my life can change:
What I will do when I get there:
Why I deserve the change:
The progress I’ve made so far:
My next step:
Repeat these to yourself when struggling to live through the effects of past choices before reaching a better world. Learn what to do with what you get as it comes.
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